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The Philadelphia Cheesesteak part Two,
"Proper Conveyance Materials for the Philadelphia Cheese Steak."

There are many aspects which must be taken into consideration in the proper manufacture of the Philly Cheese steak:

One of the most important aspects is the Bread! Besides food providers not properly manufacturing the insides of a Cheesesteak, the number two complaint about "west coast" cheese steaks is the bread: NEVER use a sourdough roll for a Cheesesteak!!! This cannot be stressed enough! This is a rule which has been carved in stone from a quarry northwest of Philly by gnarled hands that once held a Penn State football in their clutch so tightly that the pigskin nearly squealed. It's an absolute sacrilege mix of two coasts which results in bursting blood vessels and churning stomachs, in fact, if you've ever been to the East Coast and sampled the bread there, you'll forever wonder what the hell is so special about sourdough in the first place. I guess it's the best they can do out here. It's the closest they can come to real bread. It will never cease to amaze me when I go to a nice restaurant and they put sourdough on the table. Are they trying to get rid of me or are they trying to be cute?  I liken it to going to the Four Seasons in Atlanta and getting a basket of Cornbread and butter while you wait for your salad. There are some places which bake an acceptable roll for the proper transportation of an authentically manufactured cheese steak into the watery mouth of an anticipatory consumer. These places are kept as a highly guarded secret possessed by few East Coasters who reside on the sundown side of the US.  What we most lament is the absence of our highly coveted "Amoroso Roll"  Amoroso's bakery is one of the most popular makers of the Italian Roll in Pennsylvania and hence the name brings nostalgic joy to the ears of a true Philadelphian.  Basically, if you have ever had a Kaiser roll, it's similar to that only it's shaped like a French roll, or "sub" but it has the flavor and consistency of a Kaiser roll, The crust is chewy and not too hard. Subway comes close but their crust is too light, thin and plain boring to chew, besides they cut the breads in the STUPIDEST way I have ever seen. Sure it works, but c'mon, half of the fun of eating a Hoagie is proudly finishing the sandwich without splitting the seam, that's when you know you're a local!  The problem with using real French bread is that the crust crumbles all over the place when you bite into it. It needs to have a soft, moist inside.  I have a really hard time finding anything like it out on the West Coast. Parisian makes an acceptable replication but you've got to get it fresh. I've heard many theories about the water quality having something to do with the fact that you can't find any good Italian rolls out here but I think it's all baloney ahem.. bologna.  People are just too damn lazy and they settle for that Sourdough foolishness.

Anyway, a true Philadelphian is going to complain no matter what you serve them since they aren't in Philly and what they really want is some unforbearing bastard to give them a dirty, impatient look while they order it and then scoff loudly when they ask for something which doesn't fall between the accepted boundaries of a quintessential Cheesesteak. They type of man who might kick you out of his store for asking for green peppers. The Cheese steak Nazi. Unforgiving is he to those even who order the right way, with the proper terminology in the rapid fire staccato which facilitates a faster moving line, "Yo buddy, Provolone, With!" the steward of said deli will only acknowledge such cognoscential finesse with a rough grimace, a slap of the spatula and a short grunt while muttering under his breath, "why can't the rest of them order that way?" as he deftly forks a few, thin slices of beef from the fridge and chucks them across the room onto the searing hot flat grill and looks at the next customer, forehead furrowed and eyebrows up high, with a look that plainly reads, "hurry up pal, I ain't got all day!"

I would enjoy seeing a deli here in California which proudly proclaimed to serve the California Cheese steak. This would go quite a long way in bridging the gap that festers whenever we dedicated and wistful Philly Boys and Girls read "Philly Cheese Steak" on the Coca Cola letter board above a local mom and pop establishment. Don't even get me started on the way they slice their deli meats and cheeses out here. You'd think they did it with a butter knife the slices are so thick all the time. "Paper thin," my momma used to say, and paper thin it shall ever be, no matter how many times I have to tell the exasperated young lady behind the deli counter at Vons, "nope, not thin enough!"

Man-a-chevitz! as my Grandmother was wont to say in my younger days, stay tuned for part three, "Proper Ordering Protocol" and part four, "Continental Bastardizations of the Philadelphia Cheese steak by region"

David Patrone
Consumer and Philadelphian

01/26/2002

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