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Kenyan Safari Part One

(Pictures will be available once scanned)

Willy is not responsible for any misspelled or wrong names and claims the right to use poetic license.  If anyone who was there feels offended or can remember the correct facts, feel free to email Willy and he'll decide whether or not to change it based on it's entertainment value.

From the desk of Willy B:

Ladies and gentlemen, I just came back from Safari with Beth and I figured I would let you guys know what happened.  Here is part one:

Eleven were we, (plus Gad) about to embark on an expedition of great personal importance and wondrous consequence.  Gad, a native Kenyan and airline employee of highest regard, enjoined us together to participate in a safari of magnitude unbounded.   There were Willy and Beth: She a British Airways employee of no small import and he a United States Marine and professional harmonicist.  Terry, Marla and Alysa: Hailing from San Diego, they formed a tight alliance that served as an unbreakable defense against the hagglers and the barter-buying natives of the Maasai and Mombassa regions.  There was Melinda, a young woman of Southwest fame who was in constant repor and retort with Bob, a scintillating and jocular fellow who came with his son Bryant from Las Vegas.   Then came the maintenance man from Southwest and the two girls from Chicago.   Reminiscent of the Professor, Maryanne and Ginger.   George, or Horje to us, was an ebulliently happy sort of man who participated in many various massages and turbid discussions aboard the "Love Bus."   Rebecca and Julie from the Chi-Town were pre-safari primed in London and joined the rest of the group there.   Suddenly they were awash in the politics and the soap opera lives of "The Muzungus On Safari"*

When we touched down in Nairobi on the sixth of May 1999, we had been traveling for almost 24 hours and were accompanied by a funky smell which had pervaded even the environmental improvement systems of the British Airways 747-400.   Happy to be standing, we were soon in the first of many lines, waiting for authentication, verification and identification to proceed from the Jomo Kenyatta International Airport to our hotel rooms and subsequent showers.  Our trusty friend and guide, Gad, was helpful in rushing us through the customs and immigration areas with his swift Swahili tongue and his quietly turbulent nature(Gad never stopped smiling).

Soon we were ushered to The New Stanley Hotel and after a brief and efficient expedition indoctrination, we were happily cascaded with Tusker Lager and our first dose of native Kenyan water which sprang from the wide showerheads in our spacious and luxurious rooms.  That night we went to a unique place called the Carnivore Restaurant.  There you can sample such delicacies as gazelle, wildebeest, hartebeest, ostrich, beef, chicken, crocodile, water buffalo, zebra and other interesting African game animals.  If I remember correctly, we had all of these except crocodile.  I hear it is a seasonal dish.   Two of us also tried the "Dawa" ("medicine" in Swahili) which is a drink of Vodka, Honey and crushed limes.  I think there is some sugar in there too, and maybe a dash of eucalyptus.  It is an interesting drink and no surprise they call it "Dawa"

After our stay in Nairobi, we headed off with our new drivers, Willie and Peter, to our first Safari lodge located in Amboselli National park.  There were two busses on this trip and therefore two stories.  I had the fortune to be strapped to Peter's bus and henceforth and hereafter I shall be relating my experiences from that point of view.   I had a half of one day's experience in the "other" bus; but, it was quite blustery and disastrous(I slept in the back) and I had to return to my original bus.

Peter's bus was Spartan in design as far as safari busses go.  In my my mind this was the perfect bus for our group which turned out to be Willy and Beth, Terry, Marla and Alysa, and later, on the second day, Bryant would come to join us to complete the sixth piece of the puzzle.  Gad was known as the "switch hitter."  He was constantly moving from bus to bus, ensuring that the trip survived all expectations.   The bus came with eight seats for passenger viewing and as Gad had promised, "Everyone received a window seat."  Peter's bus had the worse suspension and no limited-slip differential.  Barring a flat which Willy, Gad and Peter changed faster than a NASCAR team of professionals, it never broke down.  The Muzungu Bus(as our bus called it), driven by Willie and containing Bob, George, Melinda, Rebecca, and Julie, which had deep, lush seats and soft suspension, coupled with limited-slip differential, had some coolant problems and had to be replaced by an even nicer bus. This was just fine with us because while they got another bus, we were all were kept company by the tour owner, Peter, at his beautiful house, with fabulous samosas, refreshments and an interesting group of entertainers who beat the drums loudly and sang and danced for us.   The Tusker was flowing and fabulous sandwiches were eaten.  BUT, this was in the middle of the trip, we will be back to that later.

Our first Safari, as I have said, was in Amboselli National Park.  It took us many hours to drive there and we were most impressed with the expertise and daring of our drivers.  Although I consider myself a rather fearless driver and reckless to boot, many times during the trip did I find myself applying the "Passenger Brake" and I may well have worn a hole in the floorboard under my right foot.   We drove south and east from Nairobi and saw many giraffes, zebra, gazelles and impala on our way.  Shortly before arriving, the impressive Mount Kilimanjaro reared up and provided most of the backdrop for our time there.  Although he hid behind the clouds most of the time, when he appeared, it was a most impressive skyline.  Several of us have vowed to come back to climb it.

As we entered the park we were assaulted by many villagers who wished to sell us everything they had.  They were also interested in trading any of our clothes which had anything to do with America (especially if having to do with America meant being made there).  They were a little invasive; but, for the most part, entertaining.  Upon entering the lodge we were greeted by two monkeys with blue testicles and the lodge staff.  We were treated to the utmost in African service and were promptly taken to our rooms after a brief and refreshing glass of mango, passion, orange or some such juice.  We would find this to be the custom upon arriving at all of the lodges.

We went out on an evening Safari that night and came back to a delicious dinner served by our personal waiter Amos.  During our entire stay he waited on us and was quite a meticulous menu reader.  His pronunciation had an absurdly British lilt and we made many a joke at his expense, mostly involving the words "mustard" and "custard" or "pea soup" and "pizza".  He was a nice fellow as well as an incredibly attentive server, and was tipped a month's wages before we left.  After several game rides at Amboselli, we managed to encounter many of the animals that we had hoped to see.  We saw great numbers of elephant, zebra, wildebeest, Thompson's gazelles, grand gazelles, impala and warthogs.  We had a glimpse of a lioness who was guarding a recent kill, surrounded by scavengers including a patient hyena and about a hundred birds including vultures and marabou storks who were eyeing that wildebeest with wet beaks.  We spent two days there and went on four game rides(I think it was four) we left Amboselli on our fourth day and headed north to Lake Nakuru in great hopes of meeting the infamous leopard.  What we ended up seeing was much more rare.  During our stay there, we visited a genuine Maasai village whereupon Beth was macked upon by a fortuitous Masaai Chieftain's son and I will give an account of that adventure on a long and separate page.

*Muzungu = Swahili for white man

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