How to make a "Dirty Bourbon":

1. Give your glass to the bartender.
2. Watch your bartender carefully: Your bartender should not throw away the old ice or the cherries. If the bartender wishes to pour your old ice into a new glass, that is acceptable but wasteful and generally not recommended. The bartender should not add any cherries to your mixture. Do not eat the cherries until you have finished your last drink of the evening.
3. Thank your bartender profusely. Use meaningful and endearing phrases, denoting fond affection. Use several languages if at all possible (Willy B) commonly thanks his bartenders in English, Spanish, Italian, French, Japanese, Norwegian, Portuguese, Swahili, Hebrew, Farsi, Irish, German and Gibberish).

Tips on the proper consumption of a "Dirty Bourbon":

1. Unless you know your bartender or server personally, you must go to the bar to order your Dirty Bourbon. You cannot properly inspect the manufacture of your drink from the table. Additionally, an attractive server may cause you to inadvertently accept an improperly fabricated beverage.
2. Under no circumstance will you surrender your cherries until you have finished consumption at the current location.  It is essential to maintain your integrity on this point. You may; however, bring your cherries with you to the next location. There is no established procedure for this endeavor. The use of plastics is authorized.
3. Chewing of ice, though not recommended, is also authorized.
4. Do not operate machinery more complex than a thumb tack if you have been consuming Dirty Bourbons. When operating musical equipment, be extremely cautious of volume, key, and content. When lighting cigarettes, it is recommended that your designated driver also operate the incendiary device.
5. When consuming the cherries, you must make an attempt to tie the stems in knots using your tongue. A good Dirty Bourbon drinker will be able to do this in under one minute.   David's best time is 6 seconds.  The current record holder is veteran bourbon-drinker Tim Segatti who tied two cherry stems into a square knot in under 40 seconds, with money on the line.
6. Jack Daniel's is not considered bourbon. Do not be confused! Jack Daniel's, though tasty, is a Tennessee whiskey. Bourbon is double-distilled, corn mash whiskey which must be made in Kentucky of at least 51% corn mixture and matured in new oak barrels for at least a year.  Just because Frank drank Jack Daniel's doesn't mean he didn't also appreciate Bourbon.  David's favorite popular Bourbons include:

   Maker's Mark
   Jim Beam
   Early Times
   Four Roses (Found outside the U.S. only)
   Wild Turkey

7. If you'd like to know the significance of the two cherries, you'll have to ask David or some of the following bartenders personally.  If he's in the mood he'll tell you.   If not, it's personal, so back off.